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In
a Copenhagen airline ticket office
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Germany's
Black Forest
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "It
is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of
different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent
unless they are married with each other for that purpose."
Yugoslavian
Hotel
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the
job of the chambermaid.
Convenience
Store Window
If you write bad checks, we will prostitute
Majorcan Shop
Entrance
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: "English
well speaking" "Here speeching American"
Acapulco Hotel
The manager has personally passed all the water
served here.
Tokyo Bar
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Polish Hotel
On the menu of a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's
own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a
finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country
people's fashion."
Bucharest
Hotel Lobby
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being
fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
Bangkok Dry
Cleaners
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Buddhist temple, Bangkok:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
if dressed as a man.
Zurich hotel:
Because of the unpropriety of entering guests of
the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used
for this purpose.
Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists
Rome doctor's office:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
Swiss restaurant menu:
Our wines leave nothing to hope for.
Rome laundry:
Leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Czech Tourist Agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours, we guarantee
no miscarriages.
Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their skins.
Thailand notice for donkey riders:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan:
Stop. Drive Sideways.
The Accurate
Translator, L.L.C.. - Phoenix, AZ - An Arizona based company...
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